inVINCEible
by Nyades Road Ghost
Summary: What happens when Buffy acquires an old trunk from a little town called Pleasantville? Buffy/Big Wolf On Campus Crossover. *Complete*
1. The Fateful Garage Sale

STATUS: If I get some good reviews, I may continue it.   
RATING: PG because I feel like it. 

SUMMARY: Well, this is basically me suffering from Big Wolf withdrawals. What happens when Buffy gets a new trunk, one which came from Pleasantville? The revival of Vince. :-)

DISCLAIMER: Ok, as much as I would totally love it, Buffy and Co. are not mine. Neither is Vince, Merton, Lori, or Tommy.

SPOILERS: See, I don't really know. This isn't based on any season. So, I guess, you're safe.

REVIEWS:  I like reviews. Please review if you feel like it.

AUTHORS NOTE:  Italics mean flashback in this chapter. It may change, so I'll warn you.

_inVINCEible_

            "Dawn? You will never guess what I got!" Buffy Summers paused at the front door. "Dawn? You here? You've gotta see…" Again, silence. She shrugged and easily lifted an old trunk. She carried it over to the couch area and sat it down. Buffy turned around in time to see Dawn dramatically lip-synching along to the music coming from her headphones. She jumped when she saw Buffy standing there.

            "Oh, wow. I didn't hear you come home."

            "Look what I got at a garage sale over on Baird Street!" She gestured to the trunk. 

            "Huh. That's neat." She said completely devoid of emotion.

            "Oh, and the seller said there was stuff inside. I didn't get a chance to see what it was, though."

            "Cool." She said and went up to her room. Buffy shook her head. **Well, I'll just have to share my joy with someone else. **Buffy thought. She kneeled down in front of the trunk. It looked a little weathered, like it had gone on a trip. She thought back to the seller, a strange sort of fellow…

            _The man noticed Buffy gazing longingly at the trunk. "You want it, miss?" _

_            "Oh, I'm just looking. I could never afford some-,"_

_            "Five dollars."          _

_            "What?"_

_            "I said five dollars. That includes the uh…*cough*…everything inside it."_

_            "You mean there's stuff inside it?" _

_            "Uh huh."_

_            "Can I see?" She reached to open the lid._

_            "No!" he cried grabbing her hands and getting a wild look in his eyes. "I mean…heh, heh, heh…it's a surprise!"_

_            "Where'd you get it?"_

_            "On e-Bay. Came from some lady in…what was it? Oh, yeah…Pleasantville. Listen, kid, you got five dollars or not?" _

_            She gave him a hard look. "Ok." She forked over a bill. She lifted and it and turned to leave._

_            "No refunds or nothing, you know that?" _

_She swung around. **What's with this guy? **She forced a smile. "Sure."_

She looked closer at her new prize and saw there was lettering on it. She squinted her eyes and said aloud the letters she could make out. "D, I, N-," 

*ding dong* The doorbell chimed. Buffy sighed and went over to answer it. 

            "Giles! Hey, what's up?"

            "Oh, well, we've got a fellow who claims someone other than himself that no one can see is attacking people." He walked in totally focused on the volume in his hand. There were three more under his arm. He kept walking, totally oblivious to the fact that Buffy had rearranged the furniture a bit. 

            "Well, it seems-," He began, but the rest of his sentence turned into something of a painful "Oof!" as he tripped over the trunk. His books and glasses went flying and he landed face down in the carpet. Buffy suppressed a laugh. 

            "Oh, sorry, I just got that today and…"

            "No…*cough*…no trouble at all. I just…" There was a tinge of red in his cheeks and he gathered his things and what was left of his dignity and made his way over to the couch. "Anyway, there seems to be this fellow who, well, he claims there is an invisible man committing these crimes."

            "What sort of crimes?"

            "Well, you know the usual petty criminal things…robberies, tripping people, clobbering them to death with candle holders…"

            "What?"

            "You know, the silver kind. The man says the invisible man likes the game 'Clue' and commits murders in the fashion of the game."

            "Where is this guy?"

            "Well, they did a fingerprint analysis and his didn't match the culprit's. He's back home on…I know I looked it up…aw, yes, Baird Street."

            "Huh…I bought that trunk from a weird guy on that street. What does the invisible guy look like?"

            "He has green hair and uses his…uh, plasma bolts as a type of stunning mechanism. He claims the name of the culprit is 'Vince'."

            "Hmmm…ok, let's look it up then. You think it's like that girl who tried to kill Cordy in high school?"

            "I don't know…we may have to contact the officials of that organization to help us."

            "Neat."

            "But it's," he looked at his watch, "11:00 now. We'll have to get an early start tomorrow."

            "For now, I think I'll check out my trunk."

            "I'll leave you to that, then." And Giles left. Buffy bent over to inspect the trunk and just as she was just about to open the lid, the doorbell rang again. She growled and went over to answer it.

            "Hello?" She got a confused look on her face. There were three people standing on the porch and they looked like they were fresh out of high school. The middle one, a male in all black, seemed to drool when he saw her. The girl on the left, a blond, rolled her eyes. The person on the right was another boy. He was a brunette and looked like a football stud. "How can, I, uh, help you?"

            "Well," said the brunette, "I'm Tommy Dawkins. This," he said pointing at the all black one, "is Merton Dingle. And she," he said pointing to the girl, "is Lori Baxter. We're from Pleasantville and we think you may have something of his." 

            Merton waved. "You-you see…I-I-I had this trunk *nervous laugh* and…"

            "What he's trying to say is we think you're in danger of his invisible friend." Finished Lori.

*End Chapter One*

_Author's note: This is the result of cabin fever. If it's that bad, I won't continue._


	2. The Meeting of Fate

            Buffy burst out laughing. She bent over in half, clutching at her stomach. "No, no _seriously_…"she said straightening up. "What can I do for you?"

            The three looked at each other.

            "Uhhh…"said Tommy. He looked at Lori.

            "Actually…" said Lori. The two looked at Merton.

            "It's true! What's so hard to believe about it?" All three returned their gaze to Buffy.

            "Uh, well, I'll see you guys if I have any trouble, how bout that?" She said and closed the door. "Weirdoes." She muttered to herself. For the last time she bent down and began to open the trunk lid. A low creak sounded through the soundless room when suddenly…

            "DON'T DO THAT!" she heard a muffled scream and saw the kid's faces pressed up against her living room window. But it was too late. She fell on her back as some great force pushed past her. The door was thrown open and a cackle could be heard as something swept outside. The kids rushed to her side. 

            "You alright, ma'am?" said Tommy, holding onto her arm and helping her up.

            "Yeah," Merton shoved him over. "You ok?" Lori stood back and rolled her eyes. 

            "Well," Lori said, clearing her throat. "I guess we kinda failed, huh? I mean, the whole point of this trip was to stop whoever bought the trunk from opening it."

            "How did you know I had it?" Buffy asked.

            "Wild guess." Said Tommy, shrugging his shoulders.

            "Actually, we got on eBay and found the guy who bought it. And he told us you bought it, and then we tracked down your car." Lori said, listing the steps off on her fingers.

            "Which, I might add," Merton put in, "took most of today. You're a very hard person to find." He ended with what he considered a very attractive smile.

            "Alright…what exactly is going on?" Buffy asked, confusion masking her face. She was really surprised, too, that Dawn hadn't heard her down here.

            "Ok, see, Merton didn't have any friends when he was little. Actually, he doesn't really have friends _now_."

            "Hey, Tommy! I resent that!"

            "Anyway," Tommy went on, "he makes up this," he does the air quote thing, "imaginary friend. He named him Vince because he's invincible. And he likes Clue."

            "I see." Said Buffy. "But why are you chasing him across the country? Is he dangerous or anything?"

            "Well, yeah." Said Tommy, rolling his eyes. "Otherwise, we really wouldn't be here." Lori rolled her eyes with Tommy while Merton just stood there with his manly smile plastered on his face.

            "Alright…I think Giles just said something about this guy. I think I'd better call a meeting of the Scoobies."

            Merton burst into fake laughter, then stopped. "Oh, sorry, I thought it was a joke.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. The Decision of Their Fate

# A half an hour later at the Summers residence…

_ _

__"So you're saying we're chasing an invisible man with green hair?" said Willow.

"Well, yeah." Said Merton. He, Lori, and Tommy were a little intimidated by all the people there. 

"What about that invisible girl? Remember, she kidnapped Cordelia and all? Someone probably just forgot about him." Said Xander.

"Or he could be a Laertay demon." Said Anya. Spike nodded, understanding what she was saying. No one else did. Anya sighed. "It's a demon that's only visible to other demons. Sometimes they're green, and I've seen a couple take on human form."

"Yeah." Spike put in. "But it's nothing Buffy can't handle. She can kill anything." He winked at Buffy. She rolled her eyes. Merton glared at him. 

"Well, I suggest we hit the books-," Giles started.

"We may have some at home." Said Tara, glancing at Willow. She, in turn, nodded.

"Alright. Let's-,"

"Wait! Oh my good golly goshes," said Xander, making everyone stop what they were thinking. "This is _just _like that movie, Drop Dead Fred!"

"Except for the fact that no one dies in that movie…" Merton said, cocking his head to the side.

"What, dare I ask, happened in that particular movie?" Giles inquired.

"Well, when I saw it I was about ten," Xander began. "And there was this really cute girl who sat next to me-,"

"Xander," Giles said. "In the _movie_."

"Well, Rik Mayall never really lived up to his acting credits in that movie. After that, he-," Merton said.

"For god's sake, people," Giles began cleaning his glasses furiously. "In the _movie_!"

Tommy leaned over to Buffy. "He does this all the time." She faked a smile, then turned away and rolled her eyes.

"There's some bird who can't get rid of her imaginary friend. And everyone thinks she's crazy." Spike said, surprising everyone. "What? So I've seen it? That doesn't mean I'm gay or anything." He said glancing at Buffy.

"How did she get rid of him?" Anya asked.

"Who?" Spike ripped his gaze away from Buffy.

"The man in the _movie_, Spike! _The Movie_!" Giles shouted.

"Oh! Well, the girl does all this stuff so she realizes she doesn't need him. This, of course, coming round because she bumped her noggin." He tapped his head and make a clicking sound.

"So all we have to do," said Tara. "Is knock this young man unconscious?"

Merton's eyes grew wide.

"I think so." Said Spike with a malignant grin on his face.

_Author's note: I'm just having fun with this…it's pretty silly and badly written. Feel free to tell me anything you would like to happen in the story. And also, my pen-name used to be Sweatermonkey but I changed it because I thought that was lame. Now it's something from Interview with the Vampire. If you wanna know what it means, read my profile. Also, I'm not sure what happened…half of my chapter didn't show up last time, so this is why this chapter is so short._


	4. The Splitting up of Fate

Giles sighed. "Ok, I think we all need sleep or something because I don't think we would think of ideas like this if we didn't. Or maybe it's this Vince fellow, messing with our heads." He smiled and everyone realized he was being sarcastic. "We should look up some things-," He was cut off as he was hit in the head with a lead pipe. The pipe went up in the air and was about to come down when Merton jumped up with a dramatic "NOOOOO!" and tackled him. Xander and Anya looked at each other questioningly.

"Uhhh…" said Buffy. She looked at Spike who was suppressing a laugh. "Spike! Don't laugh! He could be seriously injured!" She stood up and went to see if Giles was alright. As expected, he was unconscious, but he was still alive. Willow stood up and was trying to calm Merton down, who seemed to be punching the air furiously.

"Tommy! Lori! Help me!" He yelled. The two just sat on the couch and watched him.

"Nah, I'm tired." Said Lori.

"I'll-," Tommy started, but cut off as he saw Dawn come down the stairs. "Uh…I…" He stood up and ran over. "Hey." He said as smooth as he could. "I'm Tommy Dawkins. And you are?"

"Obviously not important." She huffed as she stalked over to Buffy. "Why didn't you tell me we were having a meeting?" she demanded.

"I did, Dawnie. Your music was just really loud."

"Whatever. I'm leaving." She stalked over to the door, which Tommy held open for her.

"Seeya." He said and winked. Lori, again, rolled her eyes. She caught Xander's eye and pretended to gag. He snickered. Anya punched him.

"You don't laugh with her. Then she'll think you want to have sex with her." She whispered.

Merton was still punching and yelling obscenities at the air. Then, as oddly as it started, he began looking around wildly and then at the door. "Aaawww…he's gone now." He looked over at his friends. "Oh, and thanks for the help. You know, just sitting and doing nothing!" Tommy shrugged. Lori wasn't listening.

Giles finally gained consciousness after Buffy splashed some water in his face. It took him a second then he was wiping his eyes. He looked around and put his glasses back on, upside down. Again, Spike suppressed a laugh. He quickly fixed the glasses then went on. "I think we should all go home and use the books we have to research. We'll probably be safer split up. Ok, Merlin, you will come with me. Lora, go with Spike. And Tom, you go with Anya and Xander."

"It's _Merton._" He corrected.

"And _Lori_."

"And _Tommy_. And why can't we all stay here?"

"Because," he explained in his stuffy British tone, "I don't think you can handle yourselves." 

"That isn't what I asked."

"So? I'm the boss. Do as I say. Or face the consequence." He tried to glare menacingly and failed. "W-well, Buffy will tell you. I am very mean. Right Buffy?"

She whistled and looked to the corner of the room.

"And we _can _handle ourselves." Said Lori.

"Yeah, cause Tommy's a werewolf." Merton said. The room grew silent. Then Xander gasped and grabbed a pillow to protect himself.

"Merton, you idiot." Tommy growled. "We agreed not to tell!"

"Well, it's true! We can protect ourselves!"

"Tommy's a good werewolf." Lori said.

Giles considered this. "Nonetheless, let's have Tommy go with Spike and Lora go with Xander and Anya." 

Lori gritted her teeth. "Fine, Mr. Gilles." She answered, purposely mispronouncing his name. 

"Well, thank god we don't get wolf-boy." Anya said with a laugh. "C'mon, let's go." She grabbed Lori's arm and motioned for Xander to follow. "Much work to do, little girl. Ok, first, here's a list of things you can't touch in our house." Her voice faded as she left.

"Come along, Mr. Merton. You can provide me with some details of this 'Vince'." He began walking to the door. Merton stayed sitting down, drooling over Buffy. Spike noticed this and began dragging his finger against his throat. Giles noticed. "Uh, come along now, young man. I need your help." He said a little louder. This time he followed him out.

"Well, dog boy, I guess we better get on our way too." Spike walked over and stuck his hand out. Tommy shook it. He then flipped him on his back. "You gotta be ready, man. You have to be on your toes at all times. You never know when he'll sneak up on ya."

Tommy stood up and rubbed his back. "Dude, I can see him."

Spike was a bit taken aback. "O-of course you can." He glanced around. "I'm a vampire." He covered. "I'm stronger than you." Then he grabbed his collar and dragged him outside. Willow and Tara shook their heads. 

"I guess we'll go, too, Buffy." Willow said. "Seeya tomorrow." She waved, took Tara's hand, and they exited through the open door. Buffy sat for a moment, then walked over to her library and picked out a dusty volume. She plopped down on her lazy boy and flicked it open.

_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, all! Keep them coming! Also, I would love to hear some suggestions for how the story should go. Thank you!_


	5. The Conversations of Fate Part 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Alright, I know this is really overdue, but I'll tell you why I haven't updated: Lack of motivation. That's right, I don't have any. Sorry. I'll try to do better, yell at me and I may finish this faster.

A little later at Spike's place… 

            "So what do we do?" Tommy asked, scratching his head and looking around at the dusty furniture.

            "Well, we kind of just sit here until Buffy comes. I never really do anything productive until we actually _fight _the bad guy."

            "Oh, kind of like me. Merton does all the research, I just beat 'em up."

            Spike nodded in understanding. "So, what do us brawns like to do for fun?"

            "Well, I usually go on dates and stuff."

            "Neat." Some silence followed.

            "Say," said Tommy suddenly. "You aren't from Haiti or anything, are you? Cause then I might have to hurt you."

            "You mean the place with all the voodoo guys? No, been there once though."

            Tommy smacked his forehead. "Ah man, I meant _Hades_! I always mixed those two up."

            Spike smiled. "Something between you and me? I do that a lot too."

            "Really? Merton always makes me feel dumb when I do that."

            "It's kind of hard when you're only purpose is to hurt bad guys, isn't it?"

            "Yeah." Tommy agreed. "And I don't like how, no matter how many people you save or how much good you do, they still call you evil and hate you."

            "Don't I know it." Spike said. "Hey, do you wanna see my game face?"

            "Sure." Tommy said. Spike switched into his vamp face and back again. "Awesome! Wanna see mine?"

            "But there's not a full moon, is there?"

            "No, but watch." He found a chair leg and kicked it. "Ouch." He shook his head, some flashy effects happened, and he was in wolf mode.

            "Wow! That's cool! And your eyes flash yellow, right?" Tommy nodded. "Me too!"

            He switched back into his normal jock face. "You know," said Tommy thoughtfully, "We're not that much different."

            "I agree." They had reached a kind of agreement.

            "Hey, you know that Buffy chick?" Spike nodded. "She single?"

            "Keep your paws off her." He said possessively.

            "Geez, I was only asking." He waved his hands for effect. "What about Dawn?" He said after a moment. Spike growled in response.

The same time at Giles'… 

            "So, Mr. Merton, what can you-," Giles trailed off as he saw Merton handling his Jar of Athesalone. "Don't touch that-,"

            "Is this what I think it is?" Merton gasped eyeing the brightly painted artifact.

            "Depends on what-,"

            "The _Jar of Athesalone_? The jar that can turn people into animals? That can heal the sick and did in the War of 1812?"

            "Yes, please, put it-,"

            "Where did you get it?"

            "Please put it down young man!" He bellowed. Merton cowered.

            "Sorry." He placed it carefully back on the shelf.

            "Although I must say I am impressed with your knowledge of mythical things."

            "Thanks." He looked at the ground nervously.

            "H-have a seat." He said gesturing to a chair. Merton sat in it quickly as to avoid being yelled at. Giles whipped out a pad of paper and pencil from his front pocket. "Alright, let's get started. What does 'Vince' look like?"

            "Well, uh…he has a suit on and…uh, bright green hair. He also has some cheap green eye liner."

            "Where did you first meet him?"

            "I made him up. We didn't (air quotes) meet."

            "Ok then. What are his weaknesses?"

            "Well, he really doesn't have any. His name is Invincible. He has deadly plasma bolts and x-ray eyes things."

            "So he has none?"

            "Well, he really likes 'Clue'." Giles 'hmmm'ed at this. "You know, he always liked to be Colonial Mustard for some reason. See, it really would have made sense for him to be Mr. Green, you know? Cause-,"

            "Ok, back on the subject."

            "Sorry."

            "That's ok. How did you defeat him the first time?"

            "I was cleaning out my room and I found this big trunk. So long story short, he fell in the trunk and we closed it real fast and locked it. We thought it was safe until my mom, unbeknownst to me I might add, sold it on eBay."

            "Well, he has to have some sort of weakness, doesn't he?"

            "How about some sort of spell? I mean," He said quickly under Giles' disapproving gaze, "I've only done one spell before." Giles gave another look. "Fine, two." Another look. "Alright, I've done some spells that actually worked. I'm not that bad, you know? I mean, I think that-," At that moment a vampire burst in through the front door.

            "Rah." It yelled. Merton screeched and hid behind Giles. 

            "What-what _is _that thing?" 

            Giles rolled his eyes. "You must-,"    

            "Heh, heh…I mean, you can take this one, k?"

TBC…..

_AUTHOR'S NOTE(AGAIN): Should I continue? I know this chapter took forever, but if you want me to go on, please tell me. In the next installment I'll show what's going on with Lori and Anya and Xander. And if you have any suggestions, feel free to share._


	6. The Conversations of Fate Part 2

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ok, this will probably be the last chapter I post for a while and it might be a little short. Sorry, but not getting feedback really puts a damper on things.

The same time at Xander and Anya's house… 

            "Ok, so I found some books you could look through for us. You know, like find some nasty spells or maybe a spell to turn him visible." Anya dropped some old books into Lori's lap.

            "Alright." Lori said in a less-than-respectful tone. She flipped through a few pages and looked over to where Anya was seated. "Uhhh…did you know that I can't read Latin?"

            "Oh come on." She said, rolling her eyes. "_Everyone _knows Latin."   

            "I don't." Xander said entering the room.

            "Yes you do. Remember, I taught you that one night."

            "Yeah, what did you teach me again? Things like-,"

            "But I still taught you. Dirty or not. And that counts for something." She said and got back into her research.

            "Do I even want to know?" Lori asked.

            "Not really." He laughed. Lori also got back into her reading. She looked up a moment later and he was still just standing there.

            "Aren't you gonna help?"

            "Well, no. You see, I'm just supposed to say funny things about demon pictures I find in books. Looking for spells and casting them isn't really my thing."

            "So what do you do when everyone does research?"

            "He usually sleeps. Or gets us food. Good Ol' Xander." Anya said looking up affectionately at him.

            "So what do you usually do, Anya?"

            "I research. And tell them about my old demon friends."

            "Are you like, evil or something?"

            "She used to be." Xander put in. "She was a vengeance demon. She helped women get revenge against their boyfriends."

            "Yep. And I was one of the favorites too." She said in a dreamy voice. "Sometimes I-,"

            "Wish that I had been good all my life?" Xander said in slight panic.

            "Well, I guess…" She said. They got back into research mode for a few minutes more.

            "Anyway," he said, "This is kind of boring, huh?"

            "Yeah. Five minutes and I'm already close to being asleep." Anya said.

            "Hey, what if we go see what Tommy and that blond guy are doing?" Lori said hopefully.

            "There is no way in-," Xander started.

            "I think someone's got a crush."

            "I do not!" Lori screeched. "Maybe Tommy, but-,"  

            "Oh, it's no big deal. I mean, even I can't resist those abs, and his cheekbones…"

            "I know!" Lori couldn't hold it back. "Is he old though? Like, thirties?"

            "Well, he's somewhere in the 200s."

            "You mean 20s?"

            "No," Xander said, happy to ruin her day. "He's over 200. He's an undead bloodsucker from-,"

            "England, I think." Anya finished. Xander pouted.

            "Seriously? That's kind of…I don't know…"

            "Sexy?" Anya offered.

            "That's it."

            Xander smacked his forehead. "What's with you two?"

_A/N AGAIN: Very short, yes. Pointless, yes. Should I finish it up sometime in the near future? Or no? Feedback, pleeeease!!!!_


	7. The End of Vince of Fate

            AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am _finally _on spring break, so I'll make it my goal to finish this story. Hopefully you'll be satisfied, and sorry I hadn't done it earlier. And I may finish my 'epic' story, _Puella_, depending on if I get enough ideas to scrape up a satisfying end.

"Alright, I'll take role." Willow announced to the roomful of people in the Summer's living room. Spike snickered. "What? I can't be in charge?" He shook his head and she continued. "Ok, so me and Tara are here. And so is Buffy. Giles and Merlin?" Giles raised his hand and Merton smacked his forehead. "Does you smacking your forehead mean you're not here?" She demanded in a snippy tone.

            "It's Merton, for the last time. It's just like this movie I saw once-,"

            "Anya, Xander, and Lori?" She cut in. Xander and Anya nodded while Lori gazed longingly at Spike. "I guess Lori's here…and Spike is here, what about Tommy?" He winked and pointed at her. She rolled her eyes. "Ok, what have we found out?" Everyone avoided Willow's eyes. "Ok, _we_ found out that we might be able to see him by, uh, pouring flour on him…"

            "Impressive." Spike said with mock seriousness.

            "I'd like to hear your suggestion, then." Xander said.

            "Well, me and Tommy here…er…" He paused. "Decided he wouldn't date Buffy or Dawn." He raced under his breath.

            "I-I'm sorry?" Giles said with a smile.

            "Nothing." Tommy said. He and Spike shared a look.

            "And Giles?" Buffy said trying to take the attention off of Spike. 

            "Uh, well, we got into a bit of a scrape up with a vampire…"

            "Which tore my shirt up…" At that point everyone noticed he was wearing Spike's duster over the remains of his shirt.

            "You know, Merton, you're kind of…" Anya started, eyeing him up.

            "Yeah, he is sort of…" Buffy, too, struggled for the right words.

            "Shaggable?" Spike offered. 

            "That's it!" Lori said.  

"Alright, what do we do now? Anyone got any research that's…relevant?" Giles scanned the room, searching for at least a little glimmer of hope. "No one?" He sputtered in disgust.

"I can't read Latin." Lori announced, gaining her stares.

"I don't own any books, so I kind of just…read my cereal box." Spike said.

"I was supposed to research?" Buffy said, puzzled.

"GAAAAAH!" Giles let out his frustration. "What _is _it with you people?"

"You know," Tommy said, "I've heard of this one Island, somewhere in the Pacific, where there're lots of smart people. No, wait, you never grow old. But you might want to go there."

Merton smacked his forehead. "Tommy, please don't make any literary references if you don't know what you're talking about."

"I was just sayin'…" He defended.

Giles cleared his throat. "Back to what I was saying…"

"*Cough*Yelling*Cough*" Spike put in.

"Sorry, what was that?" Giles said.

"Who, me? Nothing. Nothing at all."  

"That's what I thought. So, what do we do? _Wait for him?_"

"Sure, that sounds like a plan." Anya said then turned to Xander. "What's on TV tonight?"

            "Anya, will you just try and listen to the guy?" Lori said.

            "Oh, now you like him? What happened to the chiseled cheekbones an hour ago?"

            "Lori, I thought you had gotten over me…" Tommy said as Lori blushed.

            "Actually, it was…uh…"

            "Spike. She wants Spike's body. She told me so." Anya finished for her.

            "Really?" Spike said, touching his heart. "You – you think I'm sexy?"

            "Well, yeah…kind of…" She said, keeping her gaze on the floor. Giles, meanwhile, was on the verge of a mental breakdown.

            "GAAAAAAH!" He yelled, then stared at something in the corner, completely silent.

            "Giles?" Buffy called out. "Giles, wake up!" She waved her hand in his face. He then slumped to the floor, unconscious. There were visible red hand marks around his neck.

            "Hey, Vince, what's up?" Tommy said, high-fiveing the air. 

            "Tommy, he just killed Mr. Giles!" Merton cried out.

            "No, he's not dead." Willow said, examining his body. "Just asleep."

            "You know what would be funny? If we dressed him up and-," Spike said.

            "How bout no." Xander cut him off.

            "Covered him with whipped cream?" Anya snickered.

            "And took Polaroids!" Dawn said, speaking up for the first time that night.

            "Hello, Vince is in the room right now!" Merton yelled, exasperated. 

            "I don't see him." Buffy said then received a punch to the stomach. "Alright, I believe ya." She said, standing up and furiously kicking the air's ass. 

            "Your aim is completely off." Spike said under his breath. They all kind of sat around, Buffy fighting, Merton mouthing words then closing his mouth.

            "You want to try this?"

            "No, not really."

            "What happened to the whole, 'I'm in love I'll do anything even stake myself for you'?" Xander asked.

            "Lora likes me now. I can shag her if I want to."

            "Says who?" He shot back.

            "Says her. And Anya just said so."

            "She didn't give you permission-,"

            "I don't need it. Do I, Lora? You are of age, are you not?"

            "Oh, I'm of age all right. And the name is Lori, ok?"

            "Oooooh…I like a girl in charge. Top or bottom?"

            "Don't know…guess we'll have to see…" She said suggestively.

            Merton finally took his attention off of Vince. "Lori, what are you _doing_? He's a member of the Undead Brigade. You know, the type that takes over the world?"

            "Actually, he's good. He might even get a soul sometime." Tommy said.

            "Yeah." Spike put in.

            "HAAA!!!" Buffy cried finally, covered in sweat. "I think I did it! I think he's dead!"

            "Dude, wake up." Tommy said, poking at something about four inches above the carpet. "You alive in there?" He backed up a step, and then smacked his foot into something obviously hard and invisible. Nothing happened. "Uh huh. He's dead."

            "Well, that was an adventure." Giles said, sitting up and putting his glasses back on. 

            "I thought you were unconscious!" Dawn cried out accusingly.

            "No, I was just pretending. I wanted to know if Buffy could…defeat this evil on her own."

            "You liar. You were unconscious."

            "Alright, fine. I was. Happy now? But I _did _hear that bit about Lori and Spike. What are you thinking young lady? Would your parents approve?"

            "I don't care about them." She said and walked over to Spike. "Do you?" 

            "No, not too much. But I can't really answer that fairly, since I don't even know-," He was cut off as Lori kissed him deeply. Xander and Anya took that opportunity to start making out. Tommy and Buffy shrugged, then shared a kiss. Merton grabbed Dawn roughly by the shoulders and kissed her. Willow jumped on Giles, leaving Tara alone.

            "Well, I guess I could clean up this body." She sprang back as she realized he was moving. "Well, I used to be a lesbian…" She said to the air. The next thing anyone knew, a pair of arms wrapped itself around her waist and Tara closed her eyes and enjoyed her invisible kiss.

THE END

NOTE: Pleeeeeease, please review. I want to know how it went. I feel so good now, it's finally through. Who knows, a sequel may be brewing. I just had to give it a sappy Hollywood happy ending. And FlameShadow? The show has been cancelled. It's a thing of the past, sadly.


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